How to Not Be Annoying
Most of the time, an annoying person doesn't realize how his or her behavior is perceived by others. If you suspect that you're annoying others - or you've been told you're annoying and think they might be right, here's how to avoid the little things that often get on people's nerves.
Steps
- Think first. Think about what you are going to say before blurting it out.
- Build self confidence. Being insecure can lead to annoying traits. Until you have built your self confidence up don't try too hard.
- Break counterproductive habits. If you laugh loudly at everyone's jokes, even if they're not all that funny, read up on how to avoid laughing at inappropriate times. Try a different approach - be genuine and be yourself. If people find you annoying when you're being true to yourself, then you need to find new, more accepting people to be around.
- Respect boundaries. Everybody has boundaries - you need to learn what they are and try to avoid crossing them. Boundaries vary widely from culture to culture and even from individual to individual.
- Do not go around poking people constantly. In fact, don't touch them at all if they don't like it. Of course if they grant permission, then by all means have fun, but otherwise cut it out before you start.
- Do not go through people's stuff. Even if their things are not private, they may still feel violated if you touch things that are in their personal space.
- Mind your own business. Avoid butting into a conversation by (for example) saying, "What are you talking about?" If you hear someone talking about something with another person, and you only catch the last sentence, leave it be.
- Be humble. Just because you're confident doesn't mean you have to act like you're better than anyone else. Don't do or say things that might let you appear to be arrogant, like bragging about your wealth or success.
- Don't correct bad grammar/spelling or inaccuracies of others because most people don't like being corrected. At the same time, though, admit when you're wrong. Learn to speak with correct grammar, and check your facts.
- Don't excessively tell people that their beliefs are wrong; gently and nicely mention that you disagree.
- Don't complain all the time. Remember the world does not revolve around you. If you complain too much, others will find you depressing and avoid you. Read up on how to be optimistic.
- Learn to listen. Conversation is a two way street. If you're talking constantly, others will get frustrated and quit trying to communicate with you. As a general rule, always listen more than you speak.
- Be conscious of your surroundings. Be aware if you are standing in doorways while having a conversation, driving 20MPH in a 40MPH zone (or 40MPH in a 20MPH zone), standing in the middle of an area where people are trying to walk (in stores, malls, or the airport), or if your children are being obnoxious in a public place. Consider how your actions are likely to affect the people around you, and you will gain their respect.
- Be polite and hygienic. Don't peek down people's shirts for instance, don't pass gas, don’t talk about looking down people’s shirts or passing gas. Cover your nose and mouth when you sneeze or cough. Take care to brush and/or floss after meals so as not inflict your breath on others or allow strings of food to flap back and forth when you speak, and don’t talk about specific instances of impolite or unhygienic actions that offended you in the past.
- You're getting on my nerves...
Learn to read facial reactions and body movements. Pay attention to the facial expressions and body language of those around you and work to immediately identify and stop whatever you're doing that is annoying others.
- Think of others. For some it is easy, but others, it is not. Try to put yourself in others' shoes and treat others the way you would like to be treated.
Tips
- It is easy to be annoying if you talk too much. Think about what you say before you say it. Remember the famous quotation, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt". Not talking at all is no fun for anyone, so you should try to strike a balance in conversation.
- Don't know if you are annoying? Ask a person that you would find likely to give you an honest and constructive answer. Be prepared for criticism and be willing to accept it gracefully The person may not be ready to give it all immediately, so give him/her time by explaining your situation, thoughts, and feelings to make it clear you can handle helpful criticism. Don't take this to an extreme, either, as it will probably be quite annoying itself.
- If your friends and family are removing themselves from you, it is possible you need to work on your social skills and personal boundaries with a professional counselor or in a group. Creating appropriate boundaries is greatly affected by early experiences over which we have no control. Coming to terms with these experiences may help give you the security you need to create and respect proper boundaries.
- Don't worry too much if you are an annoying person. We are all annoying at times, and some people are too quick to criticize. Some people are annoyed far too easily.
